Traditions at Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is all about traditions. I’ve cooked essentially the same meal since 1988. It has been through 2 marriages, one partnership and all the in between times.

Time is a definite factor in this story.

I was traveling for business in Italy early November that year. It was not my first time traveling alone, I was in my 30s and had been traveling alone since my 20s. In fact, the very first time I traveled by myself I was only 17 and it was for a university visit. I traveled to Europe, Taiwan and South America for business by myself before this trip. The excitement was over. It was no longer a novelty nor a nod to my corporate capabilities. I remember feeling blue and out of sorts.

Those days were different. There were no cell phones or Internet. Faxing was expensive and cumbersome. There was a certain freedom to that travel because you could be truly away and no one could reach you. There might be messages for you at a vendor sometimes at the hotel but that was unusual. I was researching vendors on this trip, so I was remote. The main purpose of the trip was to attend the leather good exposition in Milan. However, the show was only a few days and the president of the company was cheap plus he believed in enriching his employees. For example, he gave me and his secretary the afternoon off when he found out we had never been to the South St. seaport. Another employee had a wife who worked at the special events department of the Metropolitan Museum of Art and he pressured him so that the secretary and I could go on company time to private viewing as a Van Gogh exhibition. He believed in us and wanted us to see the potential in the world. Therefore, I was going to be required to travel through Italy for the remainder of the week. I was to go to Florence, Venice and Rome. Travel was to be done by train.

I traveled with magazines. It was important that I know what was going on in the world, specifically anything that related to fashion. I subscribed and read 22 magazines. These would come to my parents’ house because it would have sent up a red flag on my illegal rental. They insisted that I give the mailman a huge tip every year because of the volume and weight of the paper. I read all kinds of magazines-women’s fashion, men’s fashion, beauty magazines, home decor, business magazines. It always amazed the men that I worked with that I could discuss business issues. I traveled light. In my early years, my mother had despaired because I traveled like a typical Jamaican-lots of bags, parcels tied up with bits of string. She kept at it until I could travel with the minimum amount of fuss and luggage. It also helps that I understood clothing. In later years when I did not have a responsibility for fashion I could travel for a week or two with just the carry-on barrel bag or if the company provided business class, the barrel bag plus a garment bag. However back in the day I will travel with lots of magazines. They would keep me company in the hotel at night because of course there was no Internet or streaming and it got wearing to listen to programs not in English. I was blessed that I could understand a little bit of other languages. Sometimes I just let the sound keep me company and roll over me. On a much later trip, I was thrilled to hear the voice of Harry Belafonte in Italy. I would only catch snippets of his voice before they cut to the translation, but it was still comforting to hear the sounds that I knew in a foreign place.

I would shed the magazines as I traveled. If there was a fashion reference, I needed for work I would shove it into a folder then ditch the rest of the magazine. I used to imagine the hotel maids enjoying what I had left behind. I was traveling probably between Milan and Florence or Florence and Venice when I came upon a recipe for a Thanksgiving menu in Better Homes and Gardens. It was one of the magazines that I used to understand trends. Clothing is not just clothing, it’s what also surrounds us. Also, it was always a joke, but it started at that time that I used to lose weight in Italy. I was used to dining alone and did so in New York and very comfortably in Paris but somehow it didn’t feel right Italy. I ate in sandwich shops. Particularly on this first trip, it had taken me some time to figure out how to order the food and I had a few rather hungry days. Food was definitely on my mind. Better Homes and Gardens not only had decor but also recipes. I looked at that menu and I could just imagine it. I ripped out the article with recipes and carried it with me until I came home.

My mother was not big on Thanksgiving as she always told us “I did not grow up in this country (she was Jamaican) so I did not have this holiday and I’m doing it strictly for you kids.” My father was the children of immigrants also that had grown up during the depression, so this was not so much in the tradition for him either. My mother had not known how to cook when she married my father and it was something that she did not particularly enjoy. No one really liked to eat turkey but went through the motions every year. I decided that I was going to make Thanksgiving that year and have it at my apartment. She did not argue. I realized I am so much luckier than my friends and now in laws because she readily gave it up.

The turkey recipe was somewhat revolutionary at that time. Now what I do with it is referred to as brining and is quite commonplace but back then it was just a marinade. The bird had to be marinated at least 24 hours in advance in a mixture of soy sauce, honey, white wine and spices. It was also cooked breast side down which makes an awful lot of sense. It was accompanied by angel biscuits (the recipe has since been lost) a gelatin mold starter which was never attempted, sweet potatoes with a sorghum butter and then an apple cornbread stuffing. There was some sort of pumpkin thing for dessert but I did not extend that far. We have made this sweet potato cake for about the past 20 years as our dessert. That was from another magazine but not one that I had to rip out and discard as I traveled.

I lived on Long Island which had moderate winters at that time and definitely not snow in November. Thanksgiving morning dawned with eight inches of snow! Totally unexpected. I lived just 6 miles away, but my father was not going to drive. I was cheerful and my mother threw a fit and they came. The meal was totally enjoyed. The turkey was moist and delicious. Apparently, this is not the case for most Thanksgiving events. The technique  I used were very advanced at that time.  

It was my job from that day forward to make Thanksgiving. I would add in different things over the years like the sweet potato cake. Some years there were appetizers and other years there were not. My first marriage broke up and there was a problem. I had moved home which had its own issues. However, I like to cook and they accepted that from me. My mother used to joke when I still lived at home and was out of work that she could easily gain 5 lbs because of all the food I made. It was going to be easier to do Thanksgiving in one way but not in another. My father was very finicky about his food and had very specific ideas. He claimed to detest garlic, but my mother always made spaghetti sauce with garlic in it which she did not know. Soy sauce was a no no for him. We used to laugh over his limitations because the only thing he would eat in a Chinese restaurant was pepper steak. It probably had soy sauce in it but as long as he didn’t know, it did no harm. My mother was sure that he would find out that the turkey was marinated in soy sauce and then decide that it didn’t taste any good. He never found out but WOULD right marvel each year on how delicious and how moist it was.

Eventually I moved out again-this time to a partner. Since they despised him and would not come over, it was my job to cater. I would cart it up and bring it over. My father never complained about the food, only about the man. That ended when I was back in my own apartment again, able to host again.

I met a new man, married and we continue with the turkey. The stuffing is now his job and he does it superbly. We no longer get a whole bird but rather a bone in breast. It looks disgusting but it’s still moist and delicious.

It’s hard to believe that the menu has stayed with me for so many years and made people happy at Thanksgiving. And I am always transported back to the time in my life with trains, travel and possibilities.