Doctor’s Visit

I bit my nails until a few years ago.  I mean chewed them.   I used to commute with my mother and she used to smack me when I bit them.  This was odd because not only was I an adult but we were different colors.  A few years ago I just made up my mind and let them grow. It was the look my mother had always wanted to see – long thin painted fingers.  She had passed away by the time I accomplished this.  It has become part of who I am.  At the salon, they told  me my nails were very strong .  Apparently, this is the case for former biters.

This past summer in August , my youngest stepson was married and I had them done.  They were perfect, no cracks.  They kept on growing.  I had talons.  They were uncomfortable.  We couldn’t cut them at all they were that hard. So, back to the salon.

What does this have to do with my condition? Well, almost three months ago I started megadoses of  biotin.  Biotin is used to strengthen your nails and hair. Also. maybe myelin repair.   Guess what?  My nails are snapping like crazy.  They are back to short.  My thought,  if this is happening to my nails, what about my bones?   My hands don’t look like me, along with others parts of me that are changing.  This was a little vanity for me.  The doctor said it wasn’t the biotin but the steroids still in my body from the Rituxin.  Guess that’s the little weight I’ve gained.

Recently , because of changes in insurance, it became necessary to cut  Ampyra to one time a day.  Frankly, we thought it wasn’t really working.  Well, quickly found out one a day impacted me badly.   Luckily, insurance sorted out with a day to go.  I  was so scared.

My right leg is the one with  the problem but lately my left knee has been killing me.  Did I say that I did go to an orthopedist last year for my foot – more on that below and wore beaded capris during the scans?  He was fascinated as he didn’t know what those little things were.  He couldn’t help me with the foot as he only does knees and hips.  He said the top of my knee was mildly arthritic.  Well now, somedays it is excruciating. It also  collapses unexpectedly.   My doctor says it’s not the condition.  The collapsing thing I thought was.

I did do my usual timed walk. It was AWFUL.  I really hadn’t changed my pace prior to this.  This time I walked like a toddler!  I told the doctor that and she said “But you are an adult.”  Exactly.  No comfort.  Apparently, part of the problem  is that I am hyperextending my left leg.  Her verdict I need an orthopedist.  Me – knee brace via Amazonprime.  In February 2008 I walked into that office in high heels.

More aches   and pains.  Recently and inexplicably, I have had sudden cry out loud stabbing pain.  Her verdict? Some nerve thing, you should see an orthopedist.

Next issue.  Since last winter I have experienced a burning sensation in my right foot, particularly when I wear tied shoes.  The GP suggested it was a condition thing.  I was also told it’s in my mind.  I only know that it feels like my foot is on fire and if it happens in the car I can barely drive.  Another suggestion was the spectral leg wasn’t fitting. To me, it has felt like a deep blister.  Well, I played around with corn removers and wart removers.  It’s not in my mind.  I took a picture which I will not share which is truly disgusting but shows that I have what looks like a deep bruise and bleeding.  Verdict:  Orthopedist!

One thing that I realized during this trip to the doctor is that at this point, I can no longer work in NYC.  This is devastating to me. I make more money in the city.  It’s more open.  There’s a vibrancy there.  Okay, this time I could drag myself up onto the bus without help but I couldn’t really walk by myself.  If my husband hadn’t been with me, I would have been pushed or fallen.  My world narrows.

On the upside or at least I am looking on it as an upside, the newspaper hawker called out to me.  “Good to see you again baby.”  This is the woman who picked me up off the sidewalk in front of the station about four years ago.  People recognize and support me in my struggle.

Also, on the positive side my doctor has offered to come into work early for my next exam so I lose less time at work,  See above – support in my struggle.

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