Last night I went to Zumba.  I have been going regularly for over five years with the same instructor and almost the same group.  I love this group.  It’s a microcosm of life the way I always envisioned it.  There are women of all sizes, shapes, weights, colors, races.  There are even deaf-mutes.  They feel the vibration of the music.  We all have fun.

The first time I went was with a friend who wanted to go to a session at the library.  It was downstairs and I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it but when along for the ride.  She couldn’t do it and I could.  Going upstairs was just the tiniest bit difficult.

The first season I was able to dance in the front.  The music and the dancing connect me with my childhood and my mother.  As I have said before in my house, we danced!  And the music is Caribbean.  I feel it in my heart and bones.  I was finally old enough and secure enough to  just be and do it!  At the end of the first year one of the women asked me if I was recovering from a stroke.

I had to change over the years to being by a wall for stability and balance.  Then in 2012 I had to start wearing the spectral leg.

Two years ago the venue changed.  I had to cross four lanes of traffic without a light.  I missed most of the first winter till it became light.  Now, I need help.  Last year with all the snow and ice, I missed again.

The sessions only run from September to June.  I did most of the classes in the fall.  December there were only two classes.  It started again last week.  It’s now in a gym and I forgot the sliders for my shoes.  The next session I had hurt my back and couldn’t make it.  Last night she started off by playing one of my favorite old songs.  This used to be a no brainer.  I could barely do it!  And then more of the music that sings to me.  What’s horrible about this is my mind  doesn’t realize I can’t do it.  I feel it and then my body is so not doing it.  Yesterday, I used our treadmill for 10 minutes and then went to the gym.  A newer person told me I was doing    great last night.  To me I was not.

So, what’s next?

Well, I am back on track pretty much food-wise.  Also, amped up the steps so it was a little better.

I am angry.  I refuse to continue down a deteriorating  path.  I am going to fight harder – better food, better exercise, better rest.

My goal?  Do a full class by spring.

Keep on dancing!