Life is still intense. I am thinking about the “default future”
How do I feel today – Pretty crappy. I was in a slightly manic phase the last few weeks. I couldn’t do things fast enough. I knew I had to crash and I have. I put in a high stress over 50 hour workweek this week. Bed late every night. I made a presentation to our head on Friday. Well, all I can say was it wasn’t negative. It is hard to live with the continual uncertainty about the job. There never seems to be enough time. I am a Libra and feel seriously out of balance. I need to clear the decks and can’t. I have started a new venture except I haven’t. I have the skills and the tools to rock it and little Miss Sabotage strikes again. The MRI shows no change but I seem to be getting worse. I think I am going to look into genome testing.
What did you do for yourself today?
I tried to sleep late. I read the Sunday times, yeah! Straightened up a bit. Sent in a job application, sat outside in the gazebo. Did NOT go grocery shopping or any kind of shopping.
What did I eat today and how did it make me feel – Getting back to clean and it’s the right thing
Did I exercise? What did I do? How did it feel – No excuse not to go to the gym and I didn’t. Miss Sabotage. My fitbit has been wonky lately and I know that I had at least two days closer to 12,000 steps. Ain’t drugs grand? But zip didn’t record
For whom or what are you grateful? What matters most in life? I am blessed with the most amazing friends, truly. I have a husband who watches over me. I continue to have possibilities. And this year, beautiful flowers in the garden
Do I have a higher purpose or driving force in my life? Make a mission statement – Never give up?
How long have I been treated with conventional medicine Ampyra since April. The Ampyra continues to work. I am walking more with less fatigue. Friday high stress day and took subway to Village during rush hour
The first time I had a symptom – June 2004 walking on the beach boardwalk. Think it’s time to add last time -off balance, weak knees
What symptoms are most troublesome -still hung up on the ugly shoes! And my hands seem to be weakening
Do I blame myself for things – Yes, I am still blaming myself for not being aggressive against this. Still! I let go of me and who I am and could be. Same as last month
How is stress level? Skyrocketing with work issues
What can I do tomorrow to make it better than today? Rest, take a step back. Contemplate that default future and SMILE
Until next month.