September Warrior Check In

I recently took one of those Facebook  quizzes and both my first and middle names mean warrior princess

How do I feel today  –   Mixed.  Recently, there has been a reorganization at work and my medical excuse is not being honored.  So, on the positive side  I slept till nearly 7 a.m. this morning.  And I am not allowed to work from home at all.  Upside, I am getting back in touch with me and what makes me tick and joyous.  Other side:  I am limited.  I am planning a tea with friends next weekend and am dependent on my husband to get things.  I have a wonderful tea set.  It’s upstairs boxed because he doesn’t like it.  It’s too far in the eaves for me to pull it out so I won’t be able to use it.  This frustrates and hurts me.  He is angry and moody today which also brings me down.  I realize this must be hard for him but it is harder for me.  I fell yesterday morning and that is upsetting him.  I am working on something, late as usual, that is pictures of both of us.  I was short some of me as a child and went upstairs to get a few.  It hurts.  I have no children.  My brother and I are estranged.  These photos mean nothing to anyone but me.

What did you do for yourself today?

Well,  I am taking stepson to lunch.  I am going back upstairs to straighten up.  I am planning my tea.  Maybe, just maybe I’ll get to read

What did I eat today and how did it make me feel – I have been moving more and more to eating in a way that will help me.

Did I exercise?  What did I do?  How did it feel – Replaced Fitbit with Jawbone and trying to calibrate it.  Gym is a possibility.  I am looking for a new job so want to be/appear stronger.

For whom or what are you grateful?  What matters most in life?

I have been thinking a lot this month about the stepkids.  I am so blessed.  And I get along with their girlfriends/fiancee.  I asked fiancee to lunch and she thought I was mad at her but accepted anyway.  How cool is that?  It was to give her something for her wedding day.  After a certain point I never thought I would have children in my life.  I guess I do. It’s hard for me to believe they care for me. It’s a great gift.  And one of the reasons I have them is because of my friends.  I have friends who are amazing lifelines to me.  When I first became involved with the boys they were my guiding lights.  I am blessed!

Do I have a higher purpose or driving force in my life?   Make a mission statement –   I still have problems with this one.   I had a minister who once said I had a great capacity for joy.  Let’s go with that one for now.  I do an elves workshop for nieces every year and I tell them it’s about spreading joy.

How long have I been treated with conventional medicine Ampyra since April.  The Ampyra continues to work.

I met a man with a walkaid device and that looks appealing

The first time I had a symptom – June 2004 walking on the beach boardwalk.  Fell twice at home recently but it’s due to stress.

What symptoms are most troublesome  -still hung up on the ugly shoes!  And my hands seem to be weakening.  Same as last month.  Being dependent or limited is driving me wid.

Do I blame myself for things –  Yes, I am still blaming myself for not being aggressive against this. Still!  I let go of me and who I am and could be.  This month thinking about the self sabotage

How is stress level? Very bad.  Work is worse and it’s having a financial impact.  Like Scarlett O’Hara, I’ll think about that tomorrow.

What can I do tomorrow to make it better than today?   Continue to get back in touch with me and what gives me joy.  Organize the clutter

Until next month.

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