Yes, sometimes I write about what’s going on condition-wise. Tomorrow, I have a visit to the neurologist. I haven’t been since July. She likes to see me every three months. I delayed for several reasons. I thought I was going to be an employee so I would have different insurance. I was really hoping that by changing the way I eat, I would have positive change. And frankly, I get tired and depressed hearing about the natural progression of the “disease”. Last time, she told me I was more spiritual. My unspoken response – “BS”
Well, tomorrow I am going back. I am worse. That’s another thing I don’t like, her denial that I am getting worse. It’s just natural. One of the things we have been discussing is medication. She has prescribed Ampyra for me but my former insurance didn’t cover it. It costs $1300 – 1800 a month. Now, I can get it for $60. It works in 60% of the people. I should be able to walk longer and faster. I am terrified of drugs. Also, she can now prescribe meds that work on relapsing. However, I have seen for some reason going that route only works for men.
In the meantime, I fell getting off subway on Thursday. It’s getting harder and harder for me to commute. My left leg is going. On a positive note I should be able to get a better brace a.k.a. spectral leg for my right leg. A new one may allow me to wear nicer shoes which will help my self – esteem. Donna will know I hate, hate wearing shoes like the groundhog (inside reference) I don’t want to give up but struggling into work isn’t working for me. I like what I do but really don’t want to be there. I took cabs last week except for the day I fell. I can’t afford that. Commutation already is hundreds a month. I needed a cane to walk in my own tiny house this weekend. Husband had a thought which may be valid. I am a woman of a certain age and have been taking Estroven for years. I forgot to buy some and have been without for a week. Hot flashes and me don’t mix well. Back on it so hopefully it will sort some of this out. Also, my work stress has been through roof . That’s a topic for another day.
Tomorrow we have a late appointment which means we see all the people who can’t even sit up being wheeled in, beyond depressing, the ghost of Christmas future.
Not optimistic. Guess I can have a down day or so.