Back for June, a little late.
How do I feel today – Today was horrid. It started out at 4:30 a.m. with a rejection for a job I had interviewed for. It would have meant getting up later, more balance and paid medical insurance. Plus, the area would let my husband work in the same area. I missed my bus by very little so was late for work. I had to do a taping at work and enlisted the guy that used to sit behind me. He’s great to sit with. Putting it in mild polite terms, he is, at best, a pompous ass to work with. So, I have been working on this project for over a year. One for which he is supposed to act as my admin and enter all the details in the project tool. I have been told he is claiming credit for it. I have literally taped this around 20 times. Couldn’t get the PC to share today for some reason. He figured it out and gave a great reading. Then he tells me the script needs to be “wordsmithed” (I HATE, HATE lingo) and we need professional, real writer. Grrrr! Uh, I am one? It’s the issue I have been facing. I am currently out of favor, the grass looks greener to them. After all of that, the tape is lost somewhere on the server. I had to bring in the laptop (theirs) to do this and it needed security patches installed which took forever and went in a loop. My phone charger broke. I thought it had broken in the phone. My back is hurting me. It never hurts. Even with husband helping me I barely made it onto the train. Some guy dropped his suitcase on my arm.
On the upside, this has all strengthened my resolve. I will and can get stronger. I will and can get another job. It is possible. I did 12,000 or so steps today.
What did you do for yourself today?
Well, I went to lunch with a friend. It was peaceful. I am following through on a promise I made to myself at the beginning of the year to have lunch out of the office. I ate appropriately, too.
What did I eat today and how did it make me feel – I ate nicely but…. My husband bought me a dish of gelato (verboten) as I type this. My choice is that if I am going to cheat it will be with good stuff
Did I exercise? What did I do? How did it feel – The steps are moving up. I am also planning on continuing daily abs work and I have started a yoga challenge and despite back, did not wimp out and did it. It makes me feel better but also I realize how out of shape I have become.
For whom or what are you grateful? What matters most in life? Grateful for friends. My friends were around me today like a swarm. My husband has been supportive. What matters most? Family and friends still hold first place. The chance and strength to move forward.
Do I have a higher purpose or driving force in my life? Make a mission statement – Higher purpose still not defined. Beginning to dream again. Still working on it. To never give up, give in and be the best I can be.
How long have I been treated with conventional medicine Ampyra since April. I have walked more than I have in years.
The first time I had a symptom – June 2004 walking on the beach boardwalk
What symptoms are most troublesome – being off balance and not walking well, wearing ugly shoes and consequently ugly clothes. I have a new spectral leg a.k.a. brace but still my shoes don’t fit.
Do I blame myself for things – Yes, I am still blaming myself for not being aggressive against this. Still! And I think always. It’s funny how we don’t take things seriously
How is stress level? It’s high. Way, way high
What can I do tomorrow to make it better than today? Continue to try and be strong, stronger. Go to the gym! Smile! Eat consciously and well.
Until next month.