How do I feel today -Better than I have in awhile. I am going back to work tomorrow after a week off and I am dreading it for numerous reasons. However, it appears the hurricane has passed us by, the sun is shining and I am focusing on the positive. I have so much to be grateful for. I also feel that I am back on track.
What did you do for yourself today?
I read the Sunday Times, most of it, on Sunday! I cooked something healthy and good. I was indulgent and bought nail polish
What did I eat today and how did it make me feel – Eating right except for dinner tonight – will have small steak. On holiday I did OK and tried to be in balance
Did I exercise? What did I do? How did it feel – Ah, every month there is a weak spot, still trying to calibrate Jawbone but I definitely have not walked nearly enough in the last week. I feel weak but determined.
For whom or what are you grateful? What matters most in life?
Friends and family. Last night the boys and their girlfriends joined the nieces and I at a mystery dinner at the church. The table read Reserved – “X – Family of 8″ It made me feel warm. The fiancee declared in 10 months, I will really be a part of this family. I was given beautiful presents for my birthday and a beautiful card. I spent 4 days with one of my best friends on vacation last week. It was restorative. I had all kinds of birthday wishes from near and far. And as someone once said ” You know Santa and the Easter Bunny?!!!” What more could I or should I want out of life.
Do I have a higher purpose or driving force in my life? Make a mission statement –
Ok, still a problem. Still believe deeply in joy. In the last few weeks due to the situation at work where I am no longer being allowed my medical accommodation, I am planning legal action. I have been told this will benefit other people. So, there you go.
How long have I been treated with conventional medicine Ampyra since April. On my birthday, I read in the Times that my medical insurance company is closing so we are scared that I will lose this drug.
The first time I had a symptom – June 2004 walking on the beach boardwalk. Lately, I have been using the cane which I am going to rename a stick more and more each week.
What symptoms are most troublesome -still hung up on the ugly shoes! And my hands seem to be weakening. Same as last month. Getting a little wobbly.
Do I blame myself for things – Of course!Yes, I am still blaming myself for not being aggressive against this. However, getting back to me, slowly, slowly but surely!
How is stress level? Middling, as I have not been at the office Sept 23 but have to go back tomorrow and face the music. I know I will survicw
What can I do tomorrow to make it better than today? Continue to take positive steps in eating, exercise and most importantly the pursuit of balance.
Well, better a little late than never. I do have to thank Ms and Fabulous http://msandfabulous.com for doing this for me. I love reading her. It’s been really good for me to think about some of these questions.
Why did you start your blog?
I started my blog because I have always had a journal/diary whatever. As I’ve previously said in a way this is my Midas in the bulrushes moment. It’s my way to vent and to process. Ok, and to share.
What is your favorite color?
La vie en rose, of course.
What is your favorite dessert?
So many to love. It can be seasonal. Things I like Key Lime pie, Christmas pudding, trifle, cheesecake. My current favorite mango coconut sorbet.
What are your top 3 favorite books?
Again, so many to choose and so many to love. Well, Dickens at the top of the list. So, I am thinking David Copperfield. A Little Princess or The Secret Garden. Hmmm.then….. Amy Tan is wonderful, Joanna Trollope, Ruth Rendell, Laura Lippmann, recent loves. Maya Angelou – I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. The Last Picture Show – Larry McMurtry. Anything by Gail Godwin. Barbara Pym – definitely shaped my consciousness.
What are your top 3 favorite movies?
Oh three so doesn’t work for me. My favorites are transitory. Movies I watch again and again….
Forrest Gump – I even paid to see it three times. “The Object of My Affection,” I keep on coming back to Easy Rider. Did I love Peter Fonda? “The Secret Life of Bees”, “Jean de Fleurette and Manon”. “Breaking Away” – struggling to find yourself and recreate yourself. Next week or next month, maybe a different answer.
What is your favorite home-cooked meal/comfort food?
These are hard questions. Eggplant parmigiana. Stuffed flounder. Solid Cadbury chocolate is comfort.
If you could speak another language, which one would it be?
Uh but I do. I love French. I wanted to take Latin and my parents put down their feet and I threw one of the few hissies of my life and ended up in French. It changed my life. I have a facility for language and do Italian, Spanish and German. In high school, I wanted to do Farsi and Russian. Japanese would be useful in my job now. Language is like extra vocabulary. I believe knowing only one language is limiting. My father used to make sure I knew how to say “I am American. I need an attorney” in any country I was traveling to. And me, personally, I wanted to be able to understand “Let’s kill that little girl over there”. I have enjoyed the freedom speaking other languages has given me.
If you were a superhero, what would your super power be?
Super power. It’s always a toss up between invisibility and flying. Right now, flying trumps all. It would be glorious to feel free, soaring and weightless instead of the careful measured tread I have to take. And to be carefree. Peter Pan calls me and don’t tell me he wasn’t a super hero. He must have been the first.
What is one piece of advice you would give someone just starting a blog?
The same advice that was given to me – take a course. I learned a lot from Blogging 101. The other piece – read other people’s blogs. It helps.
Which song would you pick to be your personal theme song?
Ah, these questions with no clear answers. I always thought the Rolling Stones “Satisfaction” was my theme song, flawed for obvious reasons. When I was a college, Don McLean’s “Everybody Loves Me Baby” really worked. I was going through a bad time and Bruce Springsteen’s Badlands. “Thunder Road” obsessively and constantly. “it’s a town full of losers and I am pulling out of here to win” (See Levittown (read childhood) comment) but it’s so much more. Hangfire by the Stones saved my life somewhere in the 80’s. Billy Joel’s “Only the Good Die Young” is a consistent theme. I am a Levittown girl. Joni Mitchell’s Cactus Tree and/or Coyote the last few years. Van Morrison reaches my soul – Caravan. Lately, I have been playing the Allman’s Melissa on my ipod and Jason Isbell’s Live Oak. The soundtrack of my life. Is there a theme to all this music, maybe someone else will see it.
Which do you prefer: bare lips, chapstick/lip balm, lip gloss, or lipstick?
Lipstick. Finally, a definitive answer. But I can’t live without eyeliner!
Eleven Random Facts About Me: (Jessica, this stuff is hard!)
My favorite place to be is on the beach, any beach. I miss the ocean all the time. This condition has stopped me from walking on the beach.
I like my chocolate and liquor straight and unadulterated. Read that – not in cake or ice cream. No juice, no soda. Maybe a little ice.
I used to fit a terrorist profile in Italy. I was single and travelled all over, staying usually only a night or two, all over Europe.
I love to cook. This was unusual for my family as on my maternal side, they had servants and ladies didn’t cook and on my paternal side, well, maybe it was cooking but it certainly wasn’t good.
I can’t stand wearing red, pink or coral nail polish. Blues, purples, greens, silvers and golds for me.
I hate red roses. They symbolize death to me.
Being married and staying married is something I never thought I would or could do.
I have a dish fetish. I don’t know how many sets I have now. I moved out of my mother’s because I had seven sets under the bed and in the closet.
I am a secret workaholic. I do it in bunny slippers.
I am terrified of being a little old lady with cats.
Last Monday morning I started off to work. It was the first time I think in weeks that I was going to work and in a skirt. No clunky snow shoes. I had on my regular granny nanny tie shoes. I was feeling positive. As I got on the escalator the handle of my cane felt weird. Hmmm, I didn’t realize it was jointed. I use collapsible canes. And until the last few months didn’t break it out until I was in the last leg of the way home at Penn, then tucked it away on the train so when I stepped out it was safe in my back pack. That being said I also go with pretty. Not for me those orthopedic metal looking horrors. In fact, we argued with my Dad when he started using one for whatever reason, we got him an Irish walking stick. My first one was black with multi colored butterfly. This one was dark purple with flowers. I get to the top of the escalator, stop to adjust backpack and the handle split apart and flew off. Two men who are on my train picked up the pieces and handed them to me. OK so I am missing the handle but I still have the stick part, just about the same height, no problem, right? Wrong, wrong, wrong. It devastated me to realize that I couldn’t walk in empty space without it. When did this happen? I stumbled and staggered to the bus. Then I had to walk the block to the office. I held onto a marble barrier. Didn’t see my friend who sometimes crosses with me. There is a security guard who watches out for me and he was coming into work and helped me up the steps and into the building. The building is a city block so I had to prop myself up another 3/4 block to get to my floor and then walk half a block to my desk. I was shattered. Being nervous made it so much worse. During the day at work I don’t use the cane unless I go to another floor.
I recovered a bit and came up with Plan B. I did realize as soon as it broke that there was no way that I could walk and do my subway usual without it and was going to take a cab. My stagger into work when I wasn’t fatigued, was horrible. So I initially thought cab, not happening!
One of my friends volunteered to go down to Duane Reade and get me another cane. No, I have a pretty spring one at home. My friend, the receptionist, usually has a golf umbrella. My thought, it’s the right height with a handle. My other friend goes to get it. I call husband who says are you crazy? I’ll come in with spare cane.
He calls and tells the kids that he pictures me with the umbrella being lifted up and sailing over Grand Central, like Mary Poppins. Kids haven’t stopped giggling. And sometimes, he makes me feel like I am being dragged by Mary Poppins when he tries to make me walk faster and longer. I am skimming above the sidewalk.
And me, I miss being Peter Pan. Didn’t ya think you could fly like Peter when you were younger? I did. I can see and feel it in my mind. And I want to be Peter again. I want to be free and soar outside of my body again. I will figure this out!